Thoughtful Being

So, I was walking through a public place the other day and overheard a small knot of women lamenting the fact that it took them so long to complete their toilette because, unlike their husbands who only have to shave their faces, women have to shave their entire bodies. Having heard this as I was moving from the front desk to the front door, I just kept walking. But I did slightly stumble at the word “have.” I wanted to go back and engage in the conversation. I wanted to ask them why they feel they “have” to shave their bodies.

I have nothing against shaving. I shave. Sometimes. I just have questions about the word “have.” What do we really “have” to do with our bodies in this culture? Especially, today’s educated, white, middleclass culture? Anything? Makeup? Shaving? Skirts? Pants? Bras? Underwear? Will anyone beat us senseless because we are not wearing a burka?

I realize that there are subcultures that do have dress codes. I am fortunate to not belong to one. Clearly these women do belong to such a subculture. They feel they “have” to shave their bodies. They were bitching about it, but they aren’t going to stop doing it.

For us, for me, our feelings of “have” lie in our choices, our tradeoffs. Do we “have” to shave our legs because our husbands demand it? Do we “have” to shave our legs because our friends demand it? Do we “have” to shave our legs because we haven’t questioned the practice and have become used to it? Do we “have” to shave our legs because we like them that way? Who do we shave/dress/make up ourselves for? When we do change our bodies do we realize we’re playing a game? Putting on a costume? What if we chose not to play?

This morning, I looked at my legs in the shower with their wiry little quarter-inch hairs and said screw it, it’s cold out, no one’s going to see my shins. I did, however, shave my you-know-what, which I suppose just lets you know where my priorities are.